A lot of blogs are self-indulgent, I admit. When they’re not informative or helpful, often they are basically just a vehicle for one person’s ramblings and emotions, served up raw to be read by whomever so wishes.
I love to write and so, I can’t guarantee that this will not be any better than ramblings or emotions, but rather than being self-indulgent, I wanted to talk about my experiences and hope that I can identify with someone or that they can identify with me, so that we all benefit and learn about the mystery that is... men.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a card carrying feminist young woman. However, newly single and living in a different city, I am amazed and puzzled by the opposite sex at the moment. I have a couple of girlfriends here, we analyse and relive and discuss at length any romantic opportunities or occurrences, but, being a journalist, I have to get some of this stuff down on paper (or..well, you know what I mean, online paper).
So let’s start off easy, with my current status. We shall call this particularly stellar example of the male species Mark. Mark is an acquaintance who I know through friends. He is not hugely good looking but I find him attractive nonetheless. He is a good ten years my senior, but, given my maturity (and modesty, eh?) and his lack thereof, it’s not a big deal. So after a late night some weeks ago, we walked home together as he lives quite near to my place. It was a prime opportunity and one that I was not entirely opposed to, but nothing more happened than a goodnight kiss on the cheek. We were meant to be going to the beach the next day with some friends so when I got home, I messaged him online to give him my number so he could call me and wake me up early the next day (I’m immune to alarms). He did, but I slept through and missed the beach. End scene.
A week or two later, I bump into him at our local, each of us with a friend, so we all had drinks. We went on to a late bar and my girlfriend pulled me aside and said, in her typically direct fashion, Hey what’s going on here? Is Mark cracking onto you? I don’t know why, but there’s something about the body language... I hadn’t noticed and we continued on the evening. He then left the bar without saying goodbye. I returned home tipsy and once again messaged him (I shouldn’t be allowed near technology after mojitos) asking where he’d disappeared to and to give me a call during the week if our gang was out for drinks. No reply.
Change scene to last Friday night. I pass by our local on the way to meet a friend. He and other friends are sitting outside, I’m on the phone and wave but continue to walk. I go to another bar and about two hours later, receive a text saying Where’ve you gone? From Mark. I reply saying I was just passing but that I would be in our local late bar later. We get there about 2am and he and two friends appear soon after. There was intense flirting from the outset and well, one thing led to another and we went back to his apartment. We were both drunk and without going into detail, what ensued was okay, but not great, due to afore mentioned drunkenness. I stayed over and we made like spoons all night. The next morning, he offered me breakfast but I declined, rather hungover and wanting to leave. He walked me to the door where I kissed his cheek but he went for the mouth and it was all rather awkward. Feeling bad for only communicating in sleepy grunts in the morning, I texted him that afternoon apologising for being so hungover and with a “See you soon x”. It’s now Tuesday and I haven’t heard from him. We were both online at the same time last night for about two hours and nada. I understand that I probably shouldn’t have gone home with him and in the lads’ Bible, do not command any respect, but still he’s a friend – or at least an acquaintance.
Phew. That was longer than intended. I’ve had a lot of these situations lately but this is the most recent. I hope to chronicle them, if only for my own sanity and perhaps I will see a pattern emerge from which I can learn. Actually, I think I already know...I’m addicted to assholes. S.O.S.
